Walking on Sunshine / Eggshells
This year carries the paradoxical feeling of boundaries and expansion. As with most existential matters, it is a case of either and. The two seems to be contradictory and yet they are supporting each other. Expansion happens when we have healthy boundaries in life, when we can prioritize and focus our attention on our intended trajectory.
Boundaries ensures that we prioritise self-care and self-love. Expansion allows us to be open and present. Either and, both are necessary to live a balanced joyous life.
Through this past 2 months, I spend time with all my close friends and family on both sides as one tends to do over the Xmas season. It became very clear that people can be placed into two categories. Those we walk on sunshine when we are around them; and those you have to walk on eggshells. Notice the difference in the wording, those we walk on… and those we have to walk on…
In the company of the former, the atmosphere is light and laughter fills the space. Time stands still and then speeds up again, giving the impression that this will last forever and it is over to soon. Again both are true, either and.
In the company of the latter, the atmosphere is restricting. You have to weight each word to gauge their possibility to cause offense and/ or disturbance. It feels time has come to an abrupt halt and is dragging on ceaselessly.
When walking on sunshine, we get to share our inner self, without having to reflect and worry about the inner state of those around us, as everyone involved is operating from the space of being enough. And it is not as if there is no personal struggles, just no one projecting it on you or anyone else. There is a deep sense of taking responsibility for your own inner state from all involved.
Walking on eggshells is a strained level of interaction. Saying the wrong thing leads to drama; a projected interpretation of what was meant or having to detect the underlying current of what is being said. It is passive aggressive and draining. That is why family visits can be so draining, the pretension sucks the light right out of the room.
Part of self-love and self-care means we have to discern where are we walking on sunshine and where on eggshells. Bringing us back to boundaries. We cannot always avoid all the people that requires walking on eggshells, yet we can greatly limit our interaction with them.
Find the spaces that you are able to walk on sunshine and walk there freely … which brings us back to expansion.
This year will be measured in our ability to being either expansive and setting boundaries.
Simultaneously being mindful of the company we keep and the company we offer to those around us.
Do they need to walk on eggshells around you or can they freely dance in the sunshine?