“Skik jouself na omstandighede” (fit yourself to the environment)
My father used to say this phrase to the great irritation of the young teenage mind, that only wanted what it wanted when it wanted it. To find later in life that accommodation is one of the most critical values to develop made those memories very sweet.
There is such wisdom in his words. To fit yourself to the situation means that you take the field into account and do not demand life to be according to your likes and dislikes. This mindset is very rare in the current individualistic-driven society.
The field is composed of all the people, animals, and plants that make up this beautiful planet Earth. It contains all the parts, seen and unseen, moving and inert, that make life the beautiful symphony it is.
At the beginning of the year, I ask for insight into the values that are needed to work with the energy of the year. It came to me as our AC for the year, Accommodation and Cooperation, our air-conditioner, that it will keep us comfortable this year, and by mid-year, it is clear that these values are very needed indeed.
According to James Swartz in his book Essence of Enlightenment: “Accommodation is to cheerfully and calmly accept any type of person or a given situation…not resigned indifference…is to be accommodating. It is based on a clear understanding that, owing to the law of karma, things cannot be different from the way they are. A person’s behavior is a consequence of his or her conditioning and is not subject to willpower. People are incarnated to work out karma, not to please me. Situations are the result of all the factors in the dharma field and are beyond the control of individuals. It is foolish to like or dislike them.”
You can have no successful relationships without being accommodating to others.
Accommodation further includes not desiring circumstances to be different or struggling to change them. If you refuse to adjust to reality, you will find yourself constantly disturbed and at odds with what is.
The fact is life will not adjust to your likes and dislikes, life is always focused on the needs of the many, thus it behoves you to fit yourself into life if you want to live in harmony and with satisfaction moment to moment.
We develop this quality of Accommodation by learning to appreciate variety, cultivate an attitude toward diversity, and constantly monitor our minds for a sense of dissatisfaction. When you find yourself dissatisfied, review your expectations, and adjust them to fit the situation.
The key to accommodation is to respond to and identify with the person, not to their actions. We can be so sure their behavior must be different yet forget that we are unable to adjust our behavior just because we want to. It can take years to adjust behavior patterns that are hardwired in our psyche.
Mechanical reactions stifle accommodation, to be free to respond to the person we must act consciously and not just react like a robot.
With this kind of understanding it is easy to become accommodative.
Moment to moment ask yourself how can I flow with existence? And make the adjustment to come into alignment with what is.