What we resist, persist
The one ailment that brings people to my practice more than any other is the resistance to what is. Depending on where we are on our path, this might be a resistance to inner or outer realities, mostly it is both. This resistance directly creates many physical ailments.
Inner resistance is based on our struggle to accept our design, that part of us that was preinstalled at birth, our natural tendencies, our God/Divine given nature. When it is said that all our patterns form before age 7, what is referred to, is that our tendencies drive us to either gravitate towards certain things, thus we want/like them or avert these things, disliking them.
From these childlike reactions between our tendencies and the environment, most people form the basis for their interactions in life. Yet these patterns are built on a child’s mind interpretation of the world. We can revisit these patterns, though, very few adults do and therefor the world is filled with adult-children having access to toys and decisions for which they are poorly equipped.
Many see these patterns as set in stone, I am happy to assure you that this is not the case. The tendencies we have are pre-set, yet we can adjust the volume of these tendencies. Do I want my impatience tendency to blast at 90% volume and ruin my relationships, or do I adjust the volume by being mindful moment to moment; and thus foster healthy respectful relationships, while keeping the gift of impatience, the tendency to get things done quickly, intact?
If we are in resistance to our tendencies, we try to be other than we are. We try to become saintly and good and kind. There is nothing wrong with being good and kind, yet if you tend to be stern and direct, always trying to be other than you are will leave your feeling tired and unheard and unseen. Further, the stern and direct tendency will then go into overdrive when we are under stress, and thus despite our efforts undermine our ability to live harmoniously.
We must remember that each tendency has a positive side when the tendencies are managed, yet we tend to focus only on the negative, as we perceive it. Even if we try to change our tendency, we will find it is not possible. Simply as these tendencies are meant to serve a purpose, it will equip the body-mind/person with the needed software to serve the soul’s mission. We cannot change these tendencies fundamentally, yet we most certainly can manage them to ensure a more balanced approach to life. We each have a puzzle piece to add to the puzzle of life, and our tendencies form our corners and unique shape to add to that whole.
Outer resistance is always based on non-acceptance to what is happening at this moment. This year specifically it has never been clearer the level of resistance people experience based on their likes/dislikes. Sadly, many see their likes/dislikes as their rights in our modern world. This leads to a complete clash with reality as the Divine is responsible for the whole, and our likes/dislikes are irrelevant to the whole. Our tendencies on the other hand are critical to the harmonious synergy of the whole.
Further people have an authority issue. They try to control what is happening, instead of controlling their reactions to what is happening. This stems from taking the responsibility of the Divine as their own, yet the part they can manage (their tendencies), they leave unattended. Simply we resist the outside when our likes and dislikes are not being met. As likes and dislikes are formed when we are children, we resist life purely on a child’s ideas.
Another display of our resistance to life is the idea that our feelings are a determining factor of what we do. So many times, I hear people say, “I did not feel like it” when asked about taking actions to make changes to their life. When we are children and teenagers, thinking that we do not have to do something based on our feelings might seem valid.
As an adult, on the other hand, we do what is required of us, and do what we want when we can. I am concerned when I hear the emphasis of late on our feelings as a measuring stick to attending to our duty in life. Feelings are a poor measuring stick for needed action to foster a healthy life of well-being. Mainly as these feelings were the reaction of a small child to their tendencies.
True acceptance comes when we are aware of our tendencies, utilising them to navigate life harmoniously with Awareness, trusting that the Divine will look after the whole. Then we accept what is happening around us and look at how we may contribute to the whole, moment to moment.
Today pay attention to where you resist.
Ask yourself, is this based on inner or outer resistance, or both?
Then vow to mature and take responsibility for how your tendencies dance with reality.
May you find the joy of this effortless dance.